I read an article yesterday on the “Thegodmolecule” site, which impressed me. I must tell you too because it is a lesson that we in the so-called “civilized” world not only do not have this practice, either even if we knew it some time ago, it seems to have been permanently deleted, from our collective memory. It is the story of an African tribe, where the birth date of a child does not mean the day the child was born, nor the time when it conceived, but the day when his mother thought the child.
When a woman wants a child, when a woman is determined to bring a child into the world, she goes alone and sits under a tree, listening in solitude until she hears, the song of the child who wants to be born. After hearing the song of her child, still unborn, still unthinkable, she returns to the man who will be the child’s father and teaches him the tune of their future child. Then, when they make love together, to physically conceive the child, they will sing the child’s song as a call for it.
The next stage is to teach other women and the wise old people of the community her child’s song, as when the baby is born, all the village’s breath to get it right, and to greet them with a welcome song, her newborn. As the baby grows, the other villagers learn the child’s song. When a child falls or gets hurts, someone nearby, he raises and sings his song. Or, when the child does something beautiful or when he goes through puberty rituals, the villagers sing his song as a way of honoring him.
But this is not all, in this African tribe there is still another occasion when the villagers sing the child’s song.
If at any time of his life the person commits a crime or something that is considered an unacceptable social act, then he/she is called in the center of the village, and the members of the community form a circle around him. Then they sing the song for him/her, the song that every mother hears when she is ready to have a baby.
The tribe is aware that how to correct an asocial behavior is not punishment but love and the reminder of true identity.
When you recognize your song, you have no desire or need to do anything that could hurt someone else. And so their lives unfold.
Even if we were not born and raised in an African tribe that reminds us of our song in the crucial moments of our existence, life is careful to do so!When what we do makes us feel congruent with ourselves it means we resonate with our song and play it well.After all, we will all recognize our song!
The major Colombian writer Gabriel Garcia Márquez is the 1982 Nobel Prize laureate. He has brought us a lot of wisdom by giving us dozens of fairy tales of his magical world, where people can love and live in the way the most visceral possible, even in times of war and plague. Later was found out that this letter is not owned by the great author, but was written by the Mexican ventriloquist Johnny Welch and was first published in 1996.
The letter is lovely, whoever it belongs! Personally, I love this message, and I think it is an inspiration to millions of people around the world; which is precisely what Gabriel García Marquez did in parallel in his brilliant literary career.
If God, for a second, forgot what I have become and granted me a little bit more of life, I would use it to the best of my ability.
I wouldn’t, possibly, say everything that is in my mind, but I would be more thoughtful of all I mean.
I would give merit to things not for what they are worth, but for what they mean to express.
I would sleep little, I would dream more because I know that for every minute that we close our eyes, we waste 60 seconds of light.
I would walk while others stop; I would awake while others sleep.
If God gave me a little bit more of life, I would dress in a straightforward manner, I would place myself in front of the sun, leaving not only my body but my soul naked at its mercy.
To all men, I would say how mistaken they are when they think that they stop falling in love when they grow old, without knowing that they become old when they stop falling in love.
I would give wings to children, but I would leave it to them to learn how to fly by themselves.
To old people, I would say that death doesn’t arrive when they grow old, but with forgetfulness.
I have learned so much with you all, I have learned that everybody wants to live on top of the mountain, without knowing that true happiness is obtained in the journey taken and the form used to reach the top of the hill.
I have learned that when a new-born baby holds, with its little hand, his father’s finger, it has trapped him for the rest of his life.
I have learned that a man has the right and obligation to look down at another man, only when that man needs help to get up from the ground.
Say always what you feel, not what you think. If I knew that today is the last time that I am going to see you asleep, I would hug you with all my strength, and I would pray to the Lord to let me be the guardian angel of your soul.
If I knew that these are the last moments to see you, I would say “I love you.”
There is always tomorrow, and life gives us another opportunity to do things right, but in case I am wrong, and today is all that is left to me, I would love to tell you how much I love you & that I will never forget you.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, young or old. Today could be the last time to see your loved ones, which is why you mustn’t wait; do it today, in case tomorrow never arrives. I am sure you will be sorry you wasted the opportunity today to give a smile, a hug, a kiss, and that you were too busy to grant them their last wish.
Keep your loved ones near you; tell them in their ears and to their faces how much you need them and like them. Love them and treat them well; take your time to say to them “I am sorry,” “forgive me, “please,” “thank you,” and all those loving words you know.
Nobody will know you for your secret thought. Ask the Lord for wisdom and strength to express them.
Show your friends and loved ones how important they are to you.
Send this letter to those you love. If you don’t do it today . . . Tomorrow will be like yesterday, and if you never do it, it doesn’t matter either, the moment to do it is now.
For you, with much love,
Gabriel García Márquez (attributed)
“No matter what, nobody can take away the dances you’ve already had.” ~ Gabo
The Hollywood makes full use of these two terms, but the psychopathy is often confused with sociopathy on the big screen. It is good to know that these labels mean two different things.
The common element, between sociopathy and psychopathy, lies in diagnosis. Both, have root in the antisocial personality disorder and are characterized by three or more of the following statements:
– There is a total lack of respect for the law and social norms and their constant violation.
– Using lies and deception about others.
– Impulsiveness and lack of a plan.
– Aggressive and violent tendencies.
– Lack of interest in the safety of others.
– Irresponsibility and failure to honor, financial responsibilities.
– Lack of “the sense of guilt.”
In both cases, the symptoms are present before the age of 15 years. At the beginning of adulthood, the behavioral disorder turns into an antisocial personality disorder.
Psychopathy is believed to have genetic factors. It is inherited, unlike sociopathy that is influenced by environmental factors. Specific areas of the brain dealing with: controlling impulse and regulating emotions are different in the minds of the psychopaths from the brains of ordinary people.
The psychopaths cannot form emotional attachment relationships with others, but, they can mimic these relationships exceptionally well. For the outside, they seem to be jumble, sociable, trustworthy, delightful. They tend to have stable families and jobs and mostly educated, people. Examples of psychopaths are serial killer Ted Bundy and Patrick Bateman of the American Psycho book.
The environment influences the sociopathy. The sociopath formed as a result of childhood trauma, psychological abuse or life in a toxic family environment. Sociopaths are more impulsive and chaotic than psychopaths. Although they have the same difficulties, in dealing with others, emotionally, they can attach themselves to a person or group, which has the same interests. They have a great deal of difficulty in maintaining a job or setting up a family.
When the sociopath is acting, it does it for its sake and acts impulsively. Unlike the psychopath, he does not plan his actions carefully and does not have a backup plan in the case of illegal activities. They are more agitated, anxious, chaotic, occasionally bursting with rage. They risk a lot, without thinking, for their safety.
Examples of sociopaths are “The Joker,” the Batman series of movies, or Alex Delarge in “A Clockwork Orange” book.
It should note that movies and books have distorted the terms of sociopathy and softening by associating them with crimes. Not all sociopaths and psychopaths are serial killers. Not all psychopaths are intelligent killers, who escape among the fingers of the law. The truth is, in most cases, they are fast caught, and are far from the image of the killer who is capable and charming.
Unlike the sociopath, the psychopath can detach more quickly and efficiently from his actions, feeling less empathy than the sociopath and engaging emotionally to a lesser degree. Most serial killers were psychopaths. Because they plan their steps in detail, the psychopaths, are more dangerous than sociopaths, and they are caught with more difficulty when they break the law.
Both types are hazardous, but the psychopath is more feared than the sociopath, for it has no chance of recovery. With good hours of psychotherapy, a sociopath can be brought back to life if he/her wants to.
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