I look at the sky and I see it as Azure, and so do you. But to me as well as to you, the color azure is in the head, being created by the brain based on the data from the external reality.
In the objective external reality, there is no azure; there is electromagnetic radiation of a certain wavelength. Similarly, I can not deny that there is no azure, although I perceive it (or I represent it) so I can not deny it, and I can’t believe there is no “I” when I experience the feeling of self entirely at this moment. The ego is a trick, a scam of the brain. It does not have a real, objective existence. Still, we strongly believe in the reality of this scammer. That’s why we hurt or enjoy when someone, especially someone we love, labels us.
But now think a little: can azure be a smarter or stupider color than yellow? Do you believe that electromagnetic radiation of different wavelengths is hurt or excited when you call it stupid or intelligent?

peg98 (3)

I think you agree that from this perspective it’s absurd to think about radiation in the visible spectrum as better or worse than others and that you feel vexed or at the maximum of happiness when someone issues judgment of value to you (where no one lives, really and objectively!). But that’s not the case, you will say.
You really feel pain; you feel hurt, sometimes not just psychologically, but you actually feel hurt physically(e.g., it increases your pulse), when someone calls you evil, irrational or dishonorable.
I can only agree. You identify yourself with the experience of self-esteem, and a distinction between trickery and reality can only be made rationally (at prefrontal cortex level). You can’t (in distinction) feel it under your skin so to speak, just as you can’t feel the earth rotating. And yet … how would it be, if it were possible?