I think it’s not an exaggeration when I say that each of us has not learned what love is, participating in personal development courses, philosophy, or reading about it. Taking me as an example, I swear :), that no book or philosophical work has been of any use to me and has not increased my understanding of the paradisal phenomenon, or of the emotion that can get you encompassed when you hear of love.
I’m sure I’m lucky, 🙂 I didn’t waste my time with the futility of reading about love, but learning (again with some luck) 🙂 from experience with loving people, (in love with “blooming”) what love is.
But not about my experiences, which (seriously and entirely I have dedicated myself to the bone marrow) I want to talk, merely about the boundaries of love.
The question that it’s often asked is: Does love have limits?
Yes, it has limits, I say that loudly and clearly! When we experience love for anything (being, idea, things, concepts, values), it is preferable to do it with intelligence. Love without limits is the love of our teenage Ego, which some adults feel when they are in love with a new partner.
These adults, these grown-up people, (metaphorically speaking :)) become blind, and then they start fumbling. In simplified terms, it is what we call “blindness to poultry.”
The emotion of love for them becomes overwhelming, destructive, anarchic. Their lives (or each of our lives, at some point, maybe) becomes confused, almost chaotic.
The fullness, the maturity of love is when you can fall in love without the experience of love to overwhelm other areas of your existence!
By my mind, you love without intelligence when you respond to the needs of your mind (not of the one loved) when you foolishly suffocate the other with your care and affection when you sacrifice yourself without limits. You love without intelligence when you are intrusive when you sabotage each initiative and any change of the other when you permanently restrict and conceal the spontaneity of the other one that you “love” :), or when you are looking to change the other because you want him/her differently!
In other words, you love without intelligence when you try to adjust him/her, to shape the other, in your image and likeness, because you spontaneously became the god of your relationship.
So how can we love intelligently? Nothing simpler: we are thoroughly and intelligently in love when we create conditions for the other “to be as he/she is” and we seek to create circumstances (concretely) as the one you love “to be as it pleases him/her” and this in realistic terms. Or metaphorically, we create conditions to “bloom.” Even in a way that you “the one in love” isn’t satisfied by that!
And all this loving but intelligent process requires when you are engaged in the act of love, a moral value that is called…? Ah, I forgot! ( haha );)) (not accidentally!)