entering the tiger’s cage…

According to Sartre, human existence doesn’t have a specific justification. There is no reason why there would be a certain thing, an affirmation that extends, of course, to the human race as well. According to Sartre, human existence has not depended on man, and the human does not know why he exists: “Existence precedes essence.”
In other words, we are exiled, thrown into this existence. Well, if we look at things from the perspective of atheist-existentialism, we have nothing to believe except that we live in an absurd world that leads to nowhere and has no one at the control panel.
Although religious and spiritual doctrines (depending on geography) postulate the immutability of something or someone under the command of the universe (perhaps universes, we certainly do not know that), and which would consequently be the omnipotent master of our destiny and who has the absolute and ultimate decision-making power, of the destiny of mankind, but not only humanity.

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Personally, I really like the first presumption. Why? (Do not throw stones, not yet :)).
 Because being exiled in this reality, our freedom can be absolute.
 With this freedom, we become the authors of our own life stories. Our existence can gain a sense of ourselves, precisely by assuming this freedom; our life can become authentic because we are both the author and the character simultaneously. We define ourselves as identities and shape our existence through our choices or the way we respond to reality, and thus become an essence (softer or more resilient, as the case may be).
It is indeed more comfortable to invest somebody or something with supreme authority (absolute) and try to comply with the requirements promoted by “ground staff” of that or something divine. Comfortable, as I said, because if something goes wrong, we can easily blame (as the case may be): the devil, demonic energies, karma, or we can blame ourselves or our family (obviously pushed to sin by the same evil entities).
Of course, this subject is very vast and has been widely debated, divagating and philosophizing easily on its edge, as we move freely around the axis of time.
 What I want to reveal is just that:
 Freedom means you can choose!
Although it may seem paradoxical, we have this freedom every moment, but it is difficult (for many of us almost impossible) to bear the consequences, or in more onerous terms: “assuming freedom.”
Why? Well, for at least two reasons:
– The first reason is that few understand. Nobody can assume anything that he does not understand.
– The second reason is that, assuming our freedom there will no longer be guilty people. I mean, we will no longer have friends, that we can blame, we can’t even blame ourselves.
And perhaps above these two causes, to assume your freedom requires a great deal of courage. And this courage is somewhat greater than entering the tiger’s cage (But we can choose to look at it through the bars and wonder why).

illusions and delusions…

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A portion of disillusion lives in each of us, in every man or woman we love, in every relationship we are involved in or that we wanted. But there is also a dose of hope, effort, and love. The truth is that everything we are and everything that surrounds us is well-dosed. None of us is ready to love and lose oneself entirely, as no one can forget until his/her last memory or provide everything. Things happen dosed, gradually, they undergo a rigorous frame time. Today we try to build and tomorrow we destroy.
Today we can love someone and tomorrow we consider him/her our enemy.
Today we are ourselves and tomorrow someone else, because nothing is infinite in us.
Beyond emotions, beyond love and even beyond the loved ones, there are limits. Some limits we set up ourselves and some we experiment with involuntary.
But the ultimate truth is: It does not matter for whom we have set up these limits. It only matters for whom we are willing to overtake them.

Life, just a story …

“Oh, stories, stories … the whole world is a story, because once it has never been like today, and what is today it will be like never before. How many fires, candles and how many flames you the story didn’t burn, and they all have been extinguished, and many will light up just to be extinguished again. Only you, the story, you will only be extinguished with the last man … and only he will know well that this world has been a long and the same story.”

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This is the beginning of the novella “Story” written by Barbu Ştefănescu Delavrancea, with his intuitive genius of the repeated and sometimes compulsive expression, of the events and life strategies, affective disposition and spontaneous reactions, the challenges and downfalls, the desires and the suffering generated by their failures. This is also the way our life story, most often in the game of forces that seem to overtake us on an archetypal scene in which we enter to play a role. We do not even realize we’re living in a simulation. We are in possession of our own feelings and expectations, which we most often think are ours. We are conditioned by parents, teachers, life partners, loved ones, and sometimes by our children. We are conditioned by the social roles we perform, by the political context in which we evolve, by the dominant cultural structures, by what is “fashionable.” We live in the dramas of our past and in anticipation of the accomplishments that will occur once in an “illo tempore,” we are captive in the terrible and repetitive game, and most often chaotic, of our own mind. All this only reinforces and confirms the story that we believe to be ours. And this “our story” will encompass us more and more, by sorrowing the life in us, it will come to live in our place, beyond us and after us, pushing us further from the being that we really are.

Lights and shadows…

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We are just moments, just fragments.
Just some small crumbs in a world we don’t fully understand, and from which we can only feel what we touch.
We float immutably in a sticky liquid, in which we usually feel fear, and from time to time we tangentially pass each other or an object that we have not seen, but which doesn’t scare us a lot. And we stick to it, we’re hiding there scared, and we are building a world. The world of each of us. We do not see too much beyond it.
And this blue moon looks at me hostilely, from one side. We know each other well, the moon and me, sometimes we look defiantly to each other. Each of us on their terrace. And we keep our eyes off each other sometimes. One has eyes too charged with light and glory, that is the moon, the other has her eyes full of memories. I mean myself.
It somehow resembles the bulb hanging on the top of the streetlights that light up my alley. It’s also the bulb, somehow solidarily with the moon. The bulb just does not have the light to offer. The bulb only lights up because it has to do it. It is disoriented, a wanderer, a stateless one that somehow got in my garden.
I look at it with mercy and aversion.
To shine only from inertia !? What a loss! Don’t ever rebel… to meet your days and nights in immeasurable sadness!

Thoughts…

I look at the sky and I see it as Azure, and so do you. But to me as well as to you, the color azure is in the head, being created by the brain based on the data from the external reality.
In the objective external reality, there is no azure; there is electromagnetic radiation of a certain wavelength. Similarly, I can not deny that there is no azure, although I perceive it (or I represent it) so I can not deny it, and I can’t believe there is no “I” when I experience the feeling of self entirely at this moment. The ego is a trick, a scam of the brain. It does not have a real, objective existence. Still, we strongly believe in the reality of this scammer. That’s why we hurt or enjoy when someone, especially someone we love, labels us.
But now think a little: can azure be a smarter or stupider color than yellow? Do you believe that electromagnetic radiation of different wavelengths is hurt or excited when you call it stupid or intelligent?

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I think you agree that from this perspective it’s absurd to think about radiation in the visible spectrum as better or worse than others and that you feel vexed or at the maximum of happiness when someone issues judgment of value to you (where no one lives, really and objectively!). But that’s not the case, you will say.
You really feel pain; you feel hurt, sometimes not just psychologically, but you actually feel hurt physically(e.g., it increases your pulse), when someone calls you evil, irrational or dishonorable.
I can only agree. You identify yourself with the experience of self-esteem, and a distinction between trickery and reality can only be made rationally (at prefrontal cortex level). You can’t (in distinction) feel it under your skin so to speak, just as you can’t feel the earth rotating. And yet … how would it be, if it were possible?

Gabriel Garcia Márquez’s last letter to humanity: “If God for a moment forgets that I am a cloth doll …”

The major Colombian writer Gabriel Garcia Márquez is the 1982 Nobel Prize laureate. He has brought us a lot of wisdom by giving us dozens of fairy tales of his magical world, where people can love and live in the way the most visceral possible, even in times of war and plague. Later was found out that this letter is not owned by the great author, but was written by the Mexican ventriloquist Johnny Welch and was first published in 1996.

The letter is lovely, whoever it belongs! Personally, I love this message, and I think it is an inspiration to millions of people around the world; which is precisely what Gabriel García Marquez did in parallel in his brilliant literary career.

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If God, for a second, forgot what I have become and granted me a little bit more of life, I would use it to the best of my ability.

I wouldn’t, possibly, say everything that is in my mind, but I would be more thoughtful of all I mean.

I would give merit to things not for what they are worth, but for what they mean to express.

I would sleep little, I would dream more because I know that for every minute that we close our eyes, we waste 60 seconds of light.

I would walk while others stop; I would awake while others sleep.

If God gave me a little bit more of life, I would dress in a straightforward manner, I would place myself in front of the sun, leaving not only my body but my soul naked at its mercy.

To all men, I would say how mistaken they are when they think that they stop falling in love when they grow old, without knowing that they become old when they stop falling in love.

I would give wings to children, but I would leave it to them to learn how to fly by themselves.

To old people, I would say that death doesn’t arrive when they grow old, but with forgetfulness.

I have learned so much with you all, I have learned that everybody wants to live on top of the mountain, without knowing that true happiness is obtained in the journey taken and the form used to reach the top of the hill.

I have learned that when a new-born baby holds, with its little hand, his father’s finger, it has trapped him for the rest of his life.

I have learned that a man has the right and obligation to look down at another man, only when that man needs help to get up from the ground.

Say always what you feel, not what you think. If I knew that today is the last time that I am going to see you asleep, I would hug you with all my strength, and I would pray to the Lord to let me be the guardian angel of your soul.

If I knew that these are the last moments to see you, I would say “I love you.”

There is always tomorrow, and life gives us another opportunity to do things right, but in case I am wrong, and today is all that is left to me, I would love to tell you how much I love you & that I will never forget you.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, young or old. Today could be the last time to see your loved ones, which is why you mustn’t wait; do it today, in case tomorrow never arrives. I am sure you will be sorry you wasted the opportunity today to give a smile, a hug, a kiss, and that you were too busy to grant them their last wish.

Keep your loved ones near you; tell them in their ears and to their faces how much you need them and like them. Love them and treat them well; take your time to say to them “I am sorry,” “forgive me, “please,” “thank you,” and all those loving words you know.

Nobody will know you for your secret thought. Ask the Lord for wisdom and strength to express them.

Show your friends and loved ones how important they are to you.

Send this letter to those you love. If you don’t do it today . . . Tomorrow will be like yesterday, and if you never do it, it doesn’t matter either, the moment to do it is now.

For you, with much love,

Your Friend,

Gabriel García Márquez (attributed)

No matter what, nobody can take away the dances you’ve already had.” ~ Gabo

About Expectations and Labels, or “The Pygmalion Effect” …

A sophisticated name for one of the most common mistakes in today’s society. The “Pygmalion Effect” implies the phenomenon that the higher our expectations of a person, the better his /her performance will get. It is based on a test (Rosenthal & Jakobson 1968), a powerful type of self-fulfilled prophecy, in a classic experiment about teachers´ expectations, a simple experiment in which students received a standard intelligence test. At the end of the test, the teachers received a list of five students who were supposed to have obtained unusually high IQ scores, and that were expected to become “class sprinters”.In reality, however, the five children were randomly chosen.By the end of the year, all children won in IQ, but the five “elected” won much more than the other students. Obviously, the teachers treated them differently, after they were told, to expect a sudden improvement in performances of the five elected students. This discovery was called the Pygmalion Effect, after the name of the sculptor, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his sculpture. The statue of a beautiful woman, which he perfected until the statue came to life. Obviously, it is a myth, about self-sufficiency and performance. Similarly to the teachers who were shown “a beautiful image,” about the five students, they brought that image to life, just as in mythology. The mental process is very simple and easy to use, we just have to set our expectations :)), but this process highlights a vicious circle:

People are the prisoners of the labels!

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Without us wanting this, we are the prisoners of the labels, without them, we can not define a human or the action of a human.The irony is that we conform to these labels, even if the motivation behind them is purely subjective, (you get a label that requires you to act in a certain way, often depending on random motivations such as the color of your skin, the place where you were born in, if you have blue eyes and golden hair … or not … :), if you have a social status, mutually accepted by the society, if you are heterosexual … etc …).

I have recently read a quote that says “when you hate someone, no matter how that person will act, you will continue to hate him/her.” Nothing truer!

We are automatically the result of the expectations of others, we are inoculated with the idea that: “If you are born a Hen, you can not become an Eagle!”, What can be expected of you is that you become a good chicken soup, in no way, that you come with pretensions, that you can fly! Well, you could try to let go of the flight, of a fence, in a free fall, … perhaps perplexed by the philosophical idea, which argues that in each hen lives an eagle waiting to be released, but the results will be disastrous and will only confirm the expectations for you.When and how is change possible? If it is possible? … there is a lot of maculature (read, specialized literature) that promises you, you just have to say 20 positive incantations and breathe 10 times deeply :)), or read books of transformation such as “How to Learn to Fly in 30 Steps,” or “Trigger Your Eagle”, “The Sky is the Limit!”….. There is also a pile of truth in it, just that, not The Sky is our limit, but the Horizon of our own ignorance, inherent at first, self-cultivated, later!

In order to fly and overcome the “Chicken” situation, we have to get to understand ourselves first, to understand how the mechanics of the processes that brought us here, in this situation work,… the Input-Output mechanisms, (pure mechanics, without poetry, no emotional affection, which the mind does not recognize, no religious fatalism … that makes you accept without understanding, …. shortly :)): without Shakespeare.).

Once you understand how you got here, the process of “Unleashing yourself” can begin, then you can rebuild yourself after a “Design” chosen and conceived by yourself, and not by those who influenced you without you having the right to choose.

Because if you do not know there are options, there is no real choice!